The Practical Billionairess Begins her Journey!

When George W. Bush's policies pushed my portfolio past the billion mark, I just knew I had to join Billionaires For Bush post-haste to celebrate our beloved President's reign! But what's a billionairess to do to outfit herself with the necessary Billionaire For Bush (B4B) accoutrements when precious few of her billions are liquid? The following is a description of how this Practical Billionairess did it:

First, I visited the B4B website and found the Billionaires DIY guide. It challenged me to think about my billionairess persona. I went to the spa and considered my options. There were so many billionairesses or even multi-millionairesses to model myself upon: Hetty Green, Oprah Winfrey, Doris Duke, Imelda Marcos , Leona Helmsley...and those are just the real ones!

After long days deep in thought in my mudbath, it hit me – I was Margaret Dumont!! You must have seen Margaret - she was the foil to Groucho Marx in all those blockbuster movies from the ancient 1930's. Always impeccably dressed, always dripping with diamonds, always a dimwit. Not that I'm a dimwit, understand, but I admired her characters' constant insistence on adherence to protocol!!

Armed with my persona in hand, I enlisted the support of my darling nephew to find pictures of Margaret on the Internets. Those pictures of Margaret gave me ideas. Evening gowns! Diamonds! Furs! Long gloves! Even longer strings of pearls! Not a hair out of place! One could even envision her using a lorgnette. Now, all I had to do was to make the image a reality!